Who do you want to be?
Uncover the values you want to live by.
Your personal values define the kind of person you want to be. They guide your decisions and shape how you behave. For example, you might value responsibility, owning your choices and their consequences, or authenticity, being genuine and real in your interactions.
The next exercise helps you uncover the values you want to live by. Write down your answers to one or more of the life-values questions below. Assume no one’s judging you, and you don’t have to please or impress anyone. Just be honest with yourself. These questions focus on how you want to behave, not how you want others to behave.
Uncovering your values in this way is like panning for gold. Each question helps you sift out how you want to behave in your life.
To get the most from this exercise, find a quiet space and give yourself 10–15 minutes to answer without distractions. Use a journal or dedicated notebook so you can revisit your answers over time. Let ideas flow without overthinking, then refine them later. You don’t need to answer every question at once; feel free to spread it across multiple sessions.
🤔 What kind of person, partner, parent, child, friend, employee, or colleague do I want to be?
Examples: Staying calm under pressure (composure), being honest and supportive with my partner (trust), and showing curiosity and openness with my kids (curiosity).
🤔 What personal qualities do I want to bring to my relationships or my work?
Examples: Being reliable and following through on commitments (responsibility), listening before reacting (thoughtfulness), and celebrating others’ achievements (encouragement).
🤔 If I were the person I want to be, how would I treat others?
Examples: I would treat everyone with fairness (fairness), respond with kindness in difficult situations (kindness), and show generosity when others need support (generosity).
🤔 What does being a good partner, parent, child, friend, or colleague mean to me?
Examples: Being dependable and showing up when needed (reliability), supporting others’ goals and dreams (support), and keeping promises and commitments (integrity).
Notice which 3 to 5 qualities stand out most to you. These are your core values. Write them down and review them regularly. Don’t just list the values, add a short description, in your own words, of what each one means to you. Use them to guide your choices and become the person you want to be.
Pick one value and start living it through consistent actions, even in small ways.
Further reflection
Consider these questions to further explore the person you want to be:
🤔 What kind of person do you want to be?
🤔 How do you want to be remembered?
🤔 How do you want to show up today?
🤔 Who do you want to model your life after?
