How do you want to be remembered?
Uncover the values you want to live by.
Your personal values define how you want to act and the kind of person you aim to be. They are the qualities that guide your actions and shape your way of being. For example, you might value independence, choosing to think and act for yourself, or creativity, approaching life with originality and fresh ideas.
The next exercise helps you uncover the values you want to live by. Choose a place and time when you will not be disturbed, ideally without your phone. Sit comfortably, take a few deep breaths, and release any tension. If it helps you visualize, first read the exercise, then do it with your eyes closed. Place yourself fully in the scenario. Notice what you see, hear, and feel, allowing yourself to experience it as if it is happening now.
Picture yourself arriving at a funeral. Quiet, somber music fills the room as you walk in. The air carries a faint scent of flowers and candle wax. You pass close family, distant relatives, friends, and a few colleagues. Faces are lined with grief, hushed whispers drift through the air, and the weight of loss presses in. You notice the small gestures of comfort, the hand on a shoulder, a fleeting smile.
No one seems to notice you. You feel invisible, as if you are not quite part of this world. You reach the coffin, look inside, and are confronted by the impossible. You see yourself lying there, motionless, hands folded, neatly dressed, with hair and makeup done. It’s your own funeral, set a few years from now.
Now imagine three people who matter to you stepping forward to speak. Which three character qualities do you hope they mention, such as kindness, honesty, courage, or creativity? What kind of person, partner, parent, child, friend, or colleague do you want their words to reflect? See the first person speaking and notice what traits they mention about you. Picture the second person and pay attention to the characteristics they admire. Finally, imagine the third person and take in the qualities they highlight.
Take a moment to let the experience settle and notice which qualities stand out most. Perhaps they said you were curious about many things (curiosity), a loving parent (parenting), and someone who took responsibility for their actions (responsibility). These are your core values. Write them down to clarify them and revisit them over time. Let them guide your choices, your actions, and the person you are becoming.
