How would your ideal self handle this?
Uncover the values you want to live by.
Your personal values define how you want to act and who you want to be. They’re your personal “how,” the qualities that guide what you do and how you live. They should support the life you want.
One way to uncover your personal values is to write down how you want to handle several challenging situations in your ideal way. To come up with these situations consider life areas where your choices really matter, like work, friendships, family life, health, daily habits, or personal growth. For the best results, find a quiet space without distractions and use a journal or dedicated notebook so you can revisit your answers over time. Be honest with yourself; write what truly matters, not what you think you should value.
Think of past moments where you didn’t act as you wanted. Especially notice situations that have happened more than once. Write down what you did, how your ideal self would have handled it, and the personal value this points to. For example:
👉 I stayed silent when a colleague interrupted me; my ideal self would have spoken up, showing courage and self-respect.
👉 I said yes to a friend’s request even though I was busy; my ideal self would have said no, honoring honesty.
👉 I reacted with frustration when my partner forgot something; my ideal self would have stayed patient, choosing calmness and kindness.
Next, think of future situations where your choices will really count and where you want to act in line with your ideals. Write down how your ideal self would handle them and the value this points to. For example:
👉 I want to choose healthy meals even when I crave something else, practicing discipline.
👉 I want to stick to my workout plan even when I feel tired, showing commitment.
👉 I want to listen fully to feedback, even when it’s hard to hear, embracing openness and competence.
Notice which three to five qualities stand out most to you. These are your core values. Write them down and review them regularly. Don’t just list the values; add a short description in your own words of what each one means to you and how it shows up in action. For example: “Courage: speaking up even when it feels uncomfortable.” Use them to guide your choices and show up as the person you want to be.
