How to work out what to do with your time
Discover your life purpose through reflection and experimentation.
Not sure what to do with your time?
Wondering which activities make your time worthwhile?
Looking for clarity on how to spend your days?
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We all go through periods when we feel a lack of purpose, especially during big life changes like finishing college, starting a new career, or retiring. These moments can make us question who we are and what we want to do, and that uncertainty can be unsettling.
Rate from 1 to 10 how strongly these statements reflect your life purpose:
👉 I have a clear direction in life.
👉 How I spend my time feels meaningful.
👉 I have plenty of reasons to live.
👉 I know which activities matter most each day.
A low score on one or more of these statements may mean you’re unsure about your life purpose. That’s natural and can be a chance to explore and grow. Treat discovering your life purpose as a journey that can bring real personal growth and fulfillment.
What is life purpose?
Your life purpose is the set of activities that feel meaningful or enjoyable to you, or both. The meaningful ones show that your life matters, while the enjoyable ones add energy and joy. It’s your personal purpose, your “why.” It answers questions like “What important things do I want to spend my time on?” and “What activities bring me joy?”
Think of it as the story you tell yourself about the activities that matter to you or that you enjoy. Your purpose usually includes several activities and shifts with your experiences, interests, and life circumstances. A life purpose isn’t a goal you achieve. It keeps unfolding. It’s about choice and growth, not destiny, and about discovering what matters to you and what you enjoy, not fitting a pre-set role.
Your life purpose is about what matters to you, not what others expect. It’s easy to be swayed by cultural norms or other people’s opinions, but discovering your purpose is a personal journey. It’s your life, and your purpose should come from your own motivation, not external pressure.
A meaningful life requires connection, competence, and autonomy. Anchor your purpose in something bigger than yourself, like family, community, or creative work, and nurture relationships that matter. Grow your skills and confidence by tackling challenges that stretch you. Support your autonomy by including activities that align with your values.
Closely related to purpose are personal values. They are about how you want to live and the person you want to be. Life purpose is why you do what you do; values are how you do it. The difference is why and how.
Analogy
Working out what to do with your time is like creating a playlist, trying out songs and keeping the ones that make you feel alive. It’s also like going through games at an arcade until you find the ones you can’t stop playing.
Why is it important to have a life purpose?
A life purpose matters because it gives us a reason to live. It improves mental and physical health, fuels motivation to face struggles and setbacks, guides how we spend time and energy, stabilizes emotions, and defines real success by living according to our purpose and values rather than external measures. For details see: Why is it important to have a life purpose?
Don't "should" yourself
Many people don’t know what to do with their lives. Humans evolved to reproduce, and hunter-gatherer ancestors focused on hunting, gathering, building shelters, and raising children. They didn’t have to choose between endless options. Today we do, but our brains aren’t built for them, so not knowing our purpose is natural. For details see: Why don’t you know what to do with your time?
Having a life purpose can be valuable, but don’t pressure yourself to have one. Thinking you “should” can make you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or inadequate. It’s okay if a purpose doesn’t feel necessary. Turn “should” into “want to” and explore your purpose with curiosity, making the process enjoyable and genuine.
How can you discover your life purpose?
Chances are you’re already living it. If your life feels fulfilling, you don’t need to figure it out. Look at what fills your days: caring for your family, tending your garden, sharing time with friends. These small, everyday actions are your purpose, quietly unfolding in plain sight.
But if you feel lost, believe you have nothing to offer, or wonder if there’s more to life, it can help to explore your life purpose. Start by noticing activities you enjoy or find meaningful, then reflect on why they matter to you. Writing your thoughts down helps organize them and creates distance from the immediate situation, making it easier to step back, reflect, and see what truly matters.
1️⃣ Make a list of activities you enjoy or find important
Use at least two of the following techniques to create a list of seven or more activities that genuinely motivate you. Write them down; you’ll use them in the next steps and for future reference. Be specific.
Include these details in each description (not necessarily in this order):
· What you’re doing (past, present, or planned)
· Where you are (or were, or will be)
· Who else is there and what they are doing
· Objects or devices you’re using, like a football, tablet, sailboat, or car
· How you feel (past, present, or expected)
Some examples:
💃 I enjoy salsa dancing with my partner because connecting with him through dancing makes me feel good.
🌳 I take weekly walks in the woods near my house, alone or with others, to improve my fitness and reduce stress.
🤝 I enjoy hanging out with friends, connecting with them, and having a good time.
🎨 I went to an exhibition of my favorite painter and was amazed by the beauty of the artworks. I was so absorbed that I didn’t notice more than four hours had passed.
⚽ As a child, I played soccer almost every afternoon with neighborhood kids. We got so caught up in the game that we often lost track of time and were late for dinner.
🎓 As a student, I enjoyed helping kids with algebra and geometry to improve their understanding of these subjects.
💵 I regularly donate money to the food bank to help people who are struggling financially.
Grab a pen and paper, or open a document on your computer. Write “Activities” at the top of a new page, then make your list using two or more of the techniques below.
👉 The 80-year-old you
Picture yourself at 80, looking back on your life as it is now. Write down your answers to reflection questions like these, and note why each one matters to you: What have I given too little time? What three things would I most want to have done? If I could go back, what would I start doing or do more of? What activities have added something good to the world around me? For guidance, see What would 80-year-old you want you to start doing today?
👉 Your peak moments
Write down at least four past times when you felt your best: joyful, fully alive, engaged, energized, fulfilled, or in flow. These peak moments reveal the activities, environments, and relationships that give your life meaning. Each of these moments acts like a signpost, pointing you to what matters. For details see: When have you felt fully alive?
👉 Most worthwhile activities
For at least a week, each evening, write down your most valuable activity of the day. Focus on what felt meaningful, not just fun. Keep going until you list five or six worthwhile activities. Look for patterns in what made each activity feel worthwhile. For details see: What was your most worthwhile activity today?
👉 Only one year left to live
Imagine you had only one year left to live. What would you do in that year and who would benefit from it? If I only had one year left to live, I would …
👉 Reflect on the regrets of the dying
We can discover what matters most by looking at the regrets of people near the end of life. Their experiences reveal common themes for life purpose: spending time on relationships, pursuing meaningful work, doing things that bring us joy, and investing in learning and growth.
For details see: What do the dying most regret?
👉 Engage your nonconscious mind
Discovering what you want to do with your life is a creative process. To tap into deeper insights, engage the nonconscious part of your mind. Reflect on a question you don’t yet have an answer to, like “What do I want to do with my time?” If no answer emerges, step away and focus on other things. Sleep on it. Your nonconscious mind will keep working in the background. Clarity often emerges, though not always. For details see: Step back and notice what emerges.
2️⃣ Reflect on your list of activities
You now have at least seven activities you enjoy or value. Look back at your list and answer these questions:
🤔 What makes each activity enjoyable or meaningful to me?
🤔 What do these activities have in common?
🤔 What do they reveal about me?
🤔 What patterns stand out?
Be clear and concrete in your answers. Specific details will help you see connections and get closer to understanding your life purpose.
3️⃣ Formulate your life purpose
Using your list of activities and reflections, write down the activities that feel central to your life purpose. Imagine money and circumstances don’t matter, and you’re not trying to impress anyone.
Keep these points in mind as you write:
👉Your purpose usually includes several activities, so list as many as you need.
👉Aim for a balance: activities that satisfy you, activities that help others, and activities that support your own well-being.
👉 Some activities can fit more than one category.
Answer the following questions to help you clarify and formulate your life purpose:
Core activities
🤔 What important activities do I want to spend my time on?
🤔 Which activities feel truly worth doing?
Contribution
🤔 Who or what do I want to do this for?
🤔 Who or what would I like to help or serve?
🤔 How can I help solve a problem I care about?
Impact
🤔 What's the benefit for them, or for me?
🤔 What positive impact do I want to make?
Write down your life purpose activities using the three parts above. For example:
I [activity you believe is important to spend time on]
for [who or what you do this activity for]
to [the positive change or impact it creates].
Examples of life purpose activities:
🖊️ I write inspirational self-help books for teenagers to give them tools and insights for handling negative emotions and navigating life more confidently.
🖌️ I create paintings for art lovers to offer beauty that can be enjoyed for generations.
🐶 I volunteer at a local animal shelter to care for stray, lost, and abandoned pets until they’re reunited with their owners or adopted.
🕊️ I grow businesses for myself to gain independence, support my family, and create the freedom to live on my own terms.
🌱 I run workshops for local kids to help them build creativity, problem-solving skills, and self-confidence.
4️⃣ Reflect regularly on your life purpose
Set aside time every month to reflect on your life purpose and update your activities as needed. Consider what has changed in your life, what new interests you’ve discovered, and any new ways you want to make a difference. Discovering your life purpose can take weeks or months, so be patient; it is worth the effort. Remember, your life purpose is a journey that evolves, not a fixed destination.
Additional tips
👉 Practice self-compassion: Discovering your life purpose can be challenging. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding during moments of doubt or difficulty.
👉 Seek inspiration: Read books, watch documentaries, or listen to talks from people who have found their life purpose. Their journeys can provide insights for your own.
👉 Get feedback: Talk to friends, family, or mentors about your strengths and interests. They may offer perspectives you haven’t considered.
👉 Stay open-minded: Be open to new experiences and ideas. Purpose can appear in unexpected places or activities you haven’t tried before.
👉 Be patient: Finding your purpose takes time. Don’t rush. Allow yourself the space to explore and reflect.
👉 Handle unhelpful thoughts and feelings: Defuse or question unhelpful thoughts and make room for difficult feelings. This helps navigate the uncertainties and anxieties that come with exploring your life purpose.
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Discovering your life purpose is a deeply personal journey. It’s about finding what makes you feel alive and fulfilled. To bring that purpose into your daily life, explore my article: How to live more in line with your life purpose.
References
The happiness trap, by Dr Russ Harris
Read my summary of this book
Designing Your Life, by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans
Read my summary of this book
7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose, by Mark Manson,
Happiness 2.0: Cultivating Your Purpose, Hidden Brain, by Shankar Vedantam, featuring Anthony Burrow
What Gives Life Purpose?, Psychology Today, by Susan Krauss Whitbourne PhD, ABPP
Hidden brain – Wellness 2.0: Who do you want to be?, by Shankar Vedantam, featuring Ken Sheldon
