Unleash your motivation
Harness autonomy, competence, and relatedness to thrive and achieve what matters most.
What drives the choices you make every day?
Are you steering your life or reacting to outside pressure?
Could knowing your core needs change how you pursue your goals?
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We like feeling self-determined. This means making our own choices and having a sense of control over our lives. Without that sense, it feels like someone else is calling the shots. Our motivation depends on how much control we believe we have in creating outcomes that are meaningful to us.
Three basic psychological needs
Self-Determination Theory (SDT) suggests that motivation, personal growth, and well-being improve when three core psychological needs are met:
👉 Autonomy – feeling free to make your own choices
Autonomy is the need to feel in control of your decisions and actions. It is the freedom to set goals that reflect your values and purpose, and to take responsibility for achieving them. Autonomy strengthens motivation because it increases the sense that your choices and actions can meaningfully influence outcomes. Autonomy doesn’t mean doing everything on your own. You can work in teams, help others, or follow advice, as long as the choice feels truly yours. This sense of control helped our ancestors act decisively in uncertain environments and signaled the judgment needed to form strong partnerships.
👉 Competence – feeling capable and effective
Competence is the need to sense that you can handle challenges, make progress, and develop mastery in areas that matter to you. Feeling competent reinforces autonomy because it strengthens the belief that you can influence outcomes and achieve goals through your actions. Competence was vital for our ancestors, whose survival depended on skills like toolmaking, tracking, and cooperation. Today, it fuels confidence in personal growth and achievement.
👉 Relatedness – feeling connected and valued
Relatedness is the need to belong, to be cared for, and to care for others. Meaningful connections create a sense of security and belonging that supports autonomy and strengthens motivation. Humans evolved in close-knit groups that depended on cooperation for survival, and this need for connection remains central to our well-being.
When these needs are fulfilled, people feel motivated, experience higher well-being and self-esteem, and perform more effectively. When unmet, motivation and well-being decline, and people may try to compensate through distractions, perfectionism, or a focus on power or external approval. Self-determination rises when people feel capable, connected, and free to choose. To support self-determination in yourself or others, it’s important to create an environment that nurtures all three needs.
The basic psychological needs are universal drivers of motivation, healthy functioning, and growth. You can think of them like basic physical needs such as food, water, and shelter. Other psychological needs, like stimulation and power, also matter, but they aren’t considered as fundamental as these core needs.
Think of self-determination like a garden. Plants need sunlight, water, and nutrients to grow. People need autonomy, competence, and relatedness to thrive. When these needs are met, we flourish. When they’re not, we struggle.
Individual differences
Everyone shares these basic needs, but their priority can vary by personality, culture, and life stage. For example, someone high in conscientiousness might prioritize autonomy, while someone high in agreeableness may place more value on relatedness. Individualistic cultures tend to emphasize autonomy, while collectivist cultures highlight relatedness. Needs also change over time; for example, young adults often focus on independence, while older adults may prioritize social connections.
Motivation: Autonomous versus controlled
Motivation is the force behind our actions. SDT distinguishes between:
👉 Autonomous motivation: Acting from genuine want, interest, purpose, or personal values. It creates a sense of control over your choices and actions. For example, exercising because it feels good or volunteering for a cause you care about.
👉 Controlled motivation: Acting because of external pressure or rewards, or internalized “shoulds.” For example, studying to avoid guilt or shame, or cleaning your room because someone else demands it. In these cases, the drive behind your actions doesn’t fully come from within.
Self-determined motivation boosts commitment, persistence, positive emotion, performance, creativity, and problem-solving.
Most behavior combines both types, such as preparing for an exam to meet external expectations while also satisfying curiosity. The more autonomous your motivation, the more self-determined you are.
Traits of a self-determined person
A self-determined person believes they direct their life, takes responsibility for their actions, trusts their effort can shape outcomes, acts from purpose and personal values, and makes decisions aligned with their goals.
Examples:
👉 Imagine a student who gets a poor grade on an exam. A highly self-determined student takes responsibility, spots what they need to improve, and creates a plan to study more effectively. A student low in self-determination might blame the teacher, complain about the difficulty of the exam, or give up entirely, feeling their performance is out of their control.
👉 Imagine an athlete who performs poorly in a competition. A highly self-determined athlete reflects on what went wrong and commits to focused training for the next event. An athlete low in self-determination might blame bad weather, faulty equipment, or luck, and feel discouraged and less motivated to try again.
How to boost autonomous motivation
Practical ways to strengthen autonomous motivation by shaping activities and environments that support your basic psychological needs.
⚒️ Improve self-awareness
Reflect on your values, goals, strengths, interests, and motivations , including why you pursue certain actions. Self-awareness helps you align your decisions and actions with what matters to you, strengthening your sense of autonomy and competence. It also supports relatedness by helping you clearly communicate what matters to you, building healthier relationships. Use journaling, meditation, or feedback from trusted friends to deepen your awareness and clarify what genuinely drives you.
⚒️ Align activities with what matters
Choose tasks that match your purpose, values, goals, strengths, and interests. This is about moving toward self-chosen, meaningful actions, which boosts autonomous motivation and satisfaction. Working in areas that play to your strengths reinforces competence, while actions that involve or benefit others strengthen relatedness.
⚒️ Reduce unnecessary external pressures
Notice the “shoulds,” expectations, and obligations that push you off course. This is about moving away from forces that make your choices feel controlled. Replace external pressure with small forms of choice, like deciding when or how you complete a task. Even minor shifts increase autonomy and reduce the drag of controlled motivation.
⚒️ Design your physical environment for success
Set up your physical or digital space to make meaningful actions easier. For example, lay out your workout clothes the night before, silence distracting notifications, or create a dedicated workspace. A supportive environment increases autonomy by giving you more control over your conditions, so your actions come from choice rather than friction. It also strengthens competence by removing obstacles and making progress easier, which helps you feel more effective and capable in what you do.
⚒️ Create a supportive social environment
Surround yourself with people who respect your choices. Supportive relationships boost autonomy, strengthen relatedness, and build competence through encouragement and constructive feedback. Seek out mentors or peers who challenge and support you, communicate your needs clearly, and step back from relationships that feel controlling or draining.
⚒️ Challenge yourself and seek feedback
Take on tasks that stretch your skills just beyond your current level in areas that matter to you. When challenges are manageable but growth-promoting, motivation rises. Celebrate progress and use constructive feedback to strengthen your sense of competence. Adjust the difficulty as needed to stay challenged without becoming frustrated.
⚒️ Set process goals, not just outcome goals
Focus on process goals you can directly control, such as “practice 20 minutes daily” instead of outcome goals like “be the best in my class.” Process goals increase autonomy by letting you act on what you can influence and strengthen competence by giving you clear evidence of progress. They also keep you engaged with the activity itself, helping you see its personal value and meaning, which makes your effort more motivating.
Additional tips
👉 Track your progress: Keep a journal or use an app to log your efforts and celebrate small achievements. Seeing your progress strengthens your sense of competence and keeps you motivated.
👉 Ask for support when needed: Seek advice or help when you’re stuck. Reaching out strengthens relatedness and can help you feel understood and connected.
👉 Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and recognize your efforts, even when things don’t go as planned. Self-compassion supports well-being and maintains a positive, motivated mindset.
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Self-Determination Theory shows that when our basic psychological needs, which are autonomy, competence, and relatedness, are met, we are more motivated, experience personal growth, and enjoy greater well-being. Focusing on these needs helps us act from choice and live more fulfilling, self-directed lives.
References
Self-Determination Theory in Psychology, Verywell Mind, by Kendra Cherry, MSEd
The Role of Self-Determination in Well-Being, Psychology Today, by Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.
Self Determination Theory and How It Explains Motivation, Positive Psychology, by Courtney E. Ackerman, MA.
Self Determination Theory website
Three Key Elements of Personal Growth, Psychology Today, by Shahram Heshmat Ph.D.
Why Self-Determination in Loving Relationships Is Important, Psychology Today, by Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.
