Hold your beliefs lightly
Treat beliefs as theories, not truths.
Your mind is full of beliefs about yourself, others, and the world. Beliefs are opinions, not facts. They’re mental constructs that aren’t necessarily true. Many rest on little information. You tend to judge fast, assume unconsciously, jump to conclusions, and overlook evidence that contradicts what you believe. And because of your natural negativity bias, many of your beliefs tilt negative. You might tell yourself you’re not capable of handling challenges, assume people will let you down, or believe the world is unfair and favors the wrong people.
The more seriously you take a belief, the harder it is to change. When you cling tightly to beliefs, you end up holding onto ones that don’t serve you. But if you treat beliefs lightly, you can let go of the unhelpful ones fast. See your beliefs as best guesses or working theories, not the final word. The goal isn’t to change the belief itself, but to change your relationship with it. When a belief stops serving you, practice holding it lightly with the following techniques.
👉 Experiment with new behaviors. Act “as if” a different belief were true and watch what happens. Experience often shifts attachment faster than reasoning. For example, you believe you’re not capable of speaking up in meetings. Act as if you are. Share one idea or ask a question. You may notice that speaking up isn’t as scary as you thought. With practice, this experience can help you hold the belief more lightly.
👉 Label beliefs as “guesses” or “theories.” Instead of treating a belief as absolute truth, label it as your mind’s best approximation based on limited information. This loosens the belief’s hold on you.
👉 Practice curiosity. Treat beliefs like hypotheses to test, not rules to follow. To open up alternative explanations, ask, “What else could be true?” or “What am I missing?” For example, you might believe a friend who hasn’t replied is avoiding you. But maybe he’s having a tough time, taking a break from social media, or newly in love and neglecting everyone.
👉 Reflect on past belief changes. Think of times when you realized a belief was wrong or unhelpful and changed it because new evidence or experience showed you otherwise. Remembering this helps you see that change is always possible.
👉 Use “both/and” thinking. Let opposing ideas coexist. Life is rarely either or. You might believe, “I will struggle in this area, and I’m still capable of growth.”
As you practice these exercises, you’ll notice how much you cling to certain beliefs and how that clinging limits you. Over time, you can learn to hold beliefs more lightly, seeing them as flexible ideas rather than absolute truths. Make it a habit to step back and loosen the grip your unhelpful beliefs have on you.
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