What can your feelings teach you about your thoughts?
Reveal the unhelpful beliefs behind your emotions.
When frustration, inner tension, or strong feelings arise, ask:
🤔 What can my feelings teach me about my thoughts?
Reflecting on these feelings can uncover unhelpful patterns in our thinking and give us the chance to change them. For example, feeling hurt by a friend’s comment may reveal a belief that others’ opinions define our worth, and frustration at repeated mistakes can expose a conviction that we must be perfect. Facing these feelings can be uncomfortable, but ignoring them keeps us stuck, while examining them creates space to feel and respond differently. Uncomfortable feelings can be powerful teachers, revealing distorted patterns in our thinking and guiding us toward wiser choices in daily life.
Uncomfortable feelings are like a car’s warning lights, alerting us to investigate and, if necessary, update our beliefs.
Often, but not always, it’s not the events themselves that trigger our distress, but the unhelpful beliefs we hold about them. To uncover these beliefs, start by noticing what you were telling yourself in that moment. Trace the feeling back to what the situation meant to you, such as convictions like “If they disagree, it means they don’t like me” or “I am a bad parent.” Look for rigid expectations, especially those with words like “should,” “must,” “always,” or “never,” such as “I must never make mistakes” or “Things should always go the way I planned.” Pay attention to recurring negative self-talk like “I’m not good enough” or “People don’t value me.” Use these insights to question, defuse and reframe your counterproductive thoughts over time.
Even when our strong feelings are justified by what’s happening, reflecting on them helps us respond more skillfully. By noticing the distorted beliefs behind our reactions, we can break old cycles of thought and behavior, which allows us to act more constructively. Practicing this regularly turns reflection into a habit, making it easier to navigate decisions, relationships, and everyday challenges with clarity and effectiveness.
Start noticing your feelings today and use them to uncover the beliefs shaping your reactions.
Further reflection
Explore these feelings and uncover what they reveal about your thinking and beliefs.
🤔 Is this feeling part of a recurring pattern in your life?
🤔 What unhelpful belief is driving this feeling?
🤔 How does this belief affect your choices, relationships, or mood?
🤔 When did you find yourself in a spiral of difficult feelings today?
🤔 What is one step you can take to respond differently in similar situations in the future?
